My truck has a belly button & various things of that nature...

Ya know, there are things in life that I like to call "happy accidents". Things like fitting into your skinny pants, finding money in your skinny pants pocket, seeing a friend at Wal-Mart while spending the money that you found in the pocket of your skinny pants that you are wearing at that particular moment. Going to the mall (in our case in a different state, but oh well!) and seeing that the item you've been salivating over for the past few weeks is on sale & you can afford that, plus something from Bath & Body Works... Just little happy times that come upon you unexpectedly.
Then, there are the polar opposites of happy accidents ~ I like to call them... Well... Let me just say ~ "things my husband, Kenneth Brandon Hale, has done while his wife was out shopping in her skinny pants." I think you may know what's coming, so just hang in there and get ready for the ride! (Please keep all hands & feet inside & in case of an emergency I'll be gone before you can say or scream "Call 911!!!")
Read the following as if David Letterman himself was doing a top ten (only it's a top three)...

Scenario #3. This past spring break my niece Shelby was spending some good ole "spoil me crazy at Mae Mae's house time" with us. I had to go to work and she and Brandon went 4 wheeling at a local park and did some fishing for a little while. (Yes, he's wonderful, I have to say that, but then it kind of throws off the first two paragraphs of the blog, so keep the ugly picture in your head for a little while. Trust me ~ I've been there!) When they got home and were unloading the 4 wheeler they (and by they, I mean Brandon doing the actions and Shelby watching to make sure that she can thoroughly relay every detail as soon as I open the car door) somehow proceeded to give my truck a belly button at the same time. What happened you ask? Well, the knob thingy that holds the trailer to the truck was too small and instead of having a new, larger one put on, Brandon decided that he'd wait. The force of the 4 wheeler coming off the trailer sent the knob sailing into the back of the tailgate ~ thus, my truck has a belly button.
Scenario #2. We like to experiment with toys on our dog, Sassafrass. Brandon has a remote control Hummer and he thought it'd be fun to chase her around the yard with it. She thought it was crazy and ran around and barked for ever ~ mission accomplished in the new toy v/s dog scene. The next day I was in my office and I heard a banging sound, it kept repeating over and over. I get scared pretty easily and my imagination goes WILD at the possibilities that may (but almost never) happen. I keep thinking there is a humongous, Princess Bride sized rodent somewhere in the house wanting to attack me at any moment. I call Brandon home from work b/c I am that frightened (plus, he's only about 10 minutes away). We search the house up and down and he thinks it's something in my office, which freaks me out even more! With him in the house to "rescue me" I calm down a bit and really listen. Then I follow the sound to HIS OFFICE, what's getting ready to attack Mae Anne? The hummer, he hadn't turned it off and it was banging into a cooler that was in his (very messy ~ I can't even stand to go into) office floor. Just banging into it over and over and over again.
Scenario #1. Tuesday I narrowly escaped death from DW catching on fire. (I know, you are waiting with baited breath, keep on reading...) when Brandon came home and I showed him the "caution: police line do not cross" evidence, he turned about eight shades of red and then admitted fault. Apparently, while unloading dishes the night before, a beater had fallen down through the silverware holder. Instead of lifting the beater gently out he pulled and pulled on the entire lower dish rack with all of his might until it came loose. Resulting in bending the front heating element until it was pulled up to the door. This in turn resulted in the heating element burning a hole in the door of DW and almost burnt down the house. Which almost KILLED ME!!!
So, now you know our little secrets. The moral of the story is, my hero doesn't ride a white horse. Instead, he is a part of many little "unhappy accidents" that eventually lead to side splitting laugher and GREAT stories to share. I love him, bless his heart, and he's stuck with me to remind him of many such scenarios anytime he erases them from his memory.

Tiding of Joy... and great stories with which to embarrassed loved ones! :)

P.S. If you need to share anything about your loved ones, by all means feel free to do so!