Welcom to the world of Netscape and Inadequcies...

So, today (and this week really) has been a day of odd, inadequate feelings and I thought I'd share some of them with you all.

• Since sometime Monday, my computer has been acting up in the worst manner possible. Brandon came in last night and waved his majic techno wand over her (seriously a female, with massive PMS!) and she improved quite a bit, but was still pouting a bit here and there. This afternoon, she shut down completely and refused to let me open up anything at all. I had to put here in time out for several hours, and upon re-examining the situation and consutling the in-house techie, came to the conclusion that it was Internet Explorer's fault and now I am using Netscape. This could very well be a possible case of Schizoaffective Disorder, but symptoms have only been present for a few days, not months.... oh well.


• I am in search of a job that will do several things to help me along. (Call me selfish, it's ok...) 1.I would love to be able to wear scrubs to work on a regular basis. 2. The more mental health experience I have, the more I'll be able to advance and understand where my future client's are coming from. I REALLY want to be able to empathize well, communicate well, help clients out, allow them to better thier lives, etc. 3. I miss not having my own $$$. This may sound odd to others, but knowing that I am adding to our bank account, makes it a lot easier for me to deduct from our bank account (even though B and I have seperate accounts). My school load isn't even that heavy (I almost wish I had taken 12 hours instead of only 9), and I am sure that I will be able to handle a regular work week (although I've never really had one before) and still be a good wife, Christian, person, student, etc. 4. I miss talking to people on a regular basis. I have sent my resume out to several mental health agencies in the area (there are actually more than I realized) and so far it's been a long wait... well, two days is a really long time to an impatient person ok? :P

• Last week I had another doc's vistit (If you're not comfortable w/ hearing words such as ovualtion or sperm, you may want to omit this paragraph. You're welcome!) We discussed a lot of what I've been going through w/ the fertility challenge (there's no such thing in my mind as infertility, simply fertility challenges) and other life aspects this past summer. She has put me on a plethora of medications and it's going to be incredibly interesting to see how I react to each one individually and a combination of them as well. Today I went to the pharmacy to pick up a months supply of Clomid (to help attract the little swimmers to my egss, if indeed there are any eggs to attact them to) and a months supply of Glucomphodge ( a drug that many diabetics take, no I am not diabetic, but it is also supposed to help in the whole attraction of the sperm ~ or something like that). Most days I am incredibly thankful for insurance ~ today isn't really one of them. Here's why. I would think, that since a doctor prescribes a medication, she would be fairly sure that it is needed. Well, my insurance company doesn't exactly agree. A five day supply of Clomid (100 mg, b/c I am apparently going to be stubborn and reject the normal 50 mgs) cost $59.60. The insurance company sent a note to the pharmacist saying that they had to have proof from my doc that I needed to take the Clomid before they would cover any part of the cost. Does that make sense to anyone else in the world? She wrote the prescription for the love of Jehosephat!!! It's annoying enough to have to come to the conclusion that my body is rejecting things that normally happen, such as getting pregnant, ovualting, dropping the eggs on a regular basis, things like that. But to go to an OBGYN 5 times in one year and finally be given a prognosis and start down the road to Fertile Myrtle Land and hit a speed bump b/c the insurance company needs proof of my needs is just a bit too much! Are ya with me here Blog Family? Can I get an "Amen!"?

• Sometimes I feel pressure (From my own self, we've been down this road before, remember the B in Geometry?) to have a really good blog, to lift people up, to inspire, to show that I am a light to the world. And lately, I know I have not been doing that. Reading other blogs does to me and for me, what I feel I should be doing to and for everyone else. So, in my attempt to lift, laugh, launch, and light I give you the pondiferous point of the day.... Oh who am I kidding? I'm on 15 million different kinds of drugs that are playing ping pong with my hormones. It's pondiferous enough for me to have gotten this far into the post without breaking down into tears.

• Got a question, can you like your elbow? Just try it and let me know please!

Happy weekending bloggers, commentors, readers and snoopers. We are once again off to Nashvegas for a Gretchen Wilson and Kenny Chesney concert. Yiipppeee ~ or in Red Neck Woman fashion ~ YE HAW!

Tidings of Joy.... and many fertile eggs! :)