Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Good.

Today was a good, fulfilling day. I had fried green tomatoes with my husband, a good laugh, a phone call from my big brother and actually made it through the day without napping. It's a good life!

Yesterday I was a bit hormonal and somewhat insensitive. Remember when I said that Gran wasn't in the greatest of moods? I didn't realize (for the first time in 15 years!) that is was the anniversary of my mom's death~ she's been in Paradise for 15 years. It hit me around 6:00 last night and a huge guilt wave just washed over me. I was so absorbed in my own life that I didn't even take the time to be a little sad. I cried buckets later, more for missing mom and feeling guilty than for what the day actually stood for. It sucks that I lost my mother, but other people never had the chance to know either of their parents or even family members ~ for the family I have and had I am eternally grateful, flaws and all. All I feel that I can do is to remember the good times, wear at least SPF 30 (her illness started out as skin cancer), and go on with life. My grandmother on the other hand is very much the opposite in many ways, but oh well. Live and learn, huh?

Tomorrow, Friday and Saturday are going to be cleaning frenzy days. I'm even getting a girl that I go to church w/ to come and help do things that I really shouldn't be doing (such as climbing on top of the counters to dust the crystal stuff we got as wedding gifts). A real estate agent is coming in Monday morning to walk through the house and begin the selling process. I haven't been too stressed out about all this stuff until today. This is where my over achiever, anal retentive side comes in. Everything has to be perfect before he gets here and I'm feeling quite a bit of pressure (even guilt over not having any crown molding up or the pretend nursery painted). We're just hoping to break even on the house sale; we'll be lucky to do that after the realtors fee is taken out. Deep healing breaths and a good nights sleep and I'll be raring to go tomorrow. It's another day...

Tootles.

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