The Naugahyde Chair from Hadees

Time 3:15, Day: Wednesday, Occasion: Grandmother's trip down pain lane.

My house ~ Ring, ring: Hey, what's going on? (Isn't caller id grand? It's my sister.)
Lynette: (Almost crying, very stressed) I just got a call from some man who said that Granny fell and is at the ER in McMinnville with broken arm and possibly a broken back. I'm on my way to pick up Jay (our oldest brother) and we're heading over there.
Me: Ok, calm down, she'll be alright. Do you want me to go ahead and get on the road?
Lynette: No, I'll call you when we find our more. One of us (meaning me, the unemployed, childless sibling) will need to stay with her overnight.
Me: OK, I'll go ahead and pack and be ready when you call back.

Several hours and a 2 1/2 hour drive later, I am at River Park "Hospital" in a private room w/ my 81 year old grandmother. She has a cast on her left arm from above her elbow to her knuckles. Her forearm is broken (both bones) and she crushed a vertebrate in her lower back. What happened you ask? Well, she had been to town with a friend (apparently visiting 5 different grocery stores for the bet prices on food ~ uh, I guess you have to have great-grandchildren to get the why's of that one) and while she was putting her items in her car, stepped off of the garage floor wrong and fell backwards onto her back. Everything is ok, no surgery required, but it's not going to be a fun recovery process.

The "hospital" (more stories to follow, I'll just say that some people in Warren County who have taken care of my grandmother are a few fries short of a happy meal) room has a light green naugahyde recliner that reclines on it's own, must be propped up against the wall to stay up-right, and has a foot rest that comes up high enough for a bulemic snake to slither under. Mae, welcome to your bed for the next two nights. After sleeping for about a total of 7 hours in two nights, I am convinced that after death people in the hadeean realm who will spend their eternity in hell will sleep in chairs just like this. Isn't that a happy thought?

Gran's doctor told her yesterday that she could go home if she wanted, or she had the option to go to the Rehab Unit for a while. He asked if she had anyone to help her out (since she lives alone) and she told him NO! I was madder than a cat in a burlap sack! I told her doctor she most certainly did have grandchildren to watch after her, but we'd need home health to come at least every other day to help with her bath and to give us breaks. Later Granny and I were talking and after consulting with a nurse, 4 friends, and a previous patient of the Rehab unit, we decided it would be better for her to go there for a few days. Her "nurses", friends and a social worker all thought it was a wonderful idea. Plus, I was selfishly thinking it would give all of us time to clean up her house enough for her to walk around with her walker, move her washer and dryer up from the basement that resembles Hannibal Lecter's holding pen, get her tub in working order, seal the door to the basement, and get her leaky refridgerator repaired (all things that we've been trying to do for the last 7 years, but that she wouldn't allow, now is THE time!). The average stay in the Rehab unit is 10 days ~ God willing and the creek don't rise, we'll be able to get everything done.

When I got home last night I took off my shoes and noticed that my ankles were as big around as an elephants. Yep, just what I need. They've been tingling for a couple of days, but not enough to really bother me. Apparently the nauga from hadees did something to my circulation, if the tingling and pain worsen I have to go to the er... I'm thinking it can wait. There's enough going on right now. If it gets to the point that I can't walk anymore, then I'll head to the ER, until then it's lots of water, Alleve, and a propped up leg for me!

Speaking of tingling, it's up to my knees now, so I must head back to my recovery chair. I hope your week has been healthier than mine!

Tidings of Joy... and rehab! :)