I'm the #1 fan of a man from Tennessee

I can't express enough the love that I have for my husband. Brandon is so giving, unselfish, sweet, funny, loving and generous. He's my rock and my heart and I am so thankful that God brought the two of us together. He constantly puts others before himself, he always tries to make everyone around him comfortable. He loves, laughs and gives with all of his heart. He is the salt to my pepper, the peaches to my cream, the light to my darkness. He is truly a gift from God.

Gobble Gobble Goo and Gobble Gobble Giggle

The Turkey Song by Adam Sadler is hillarious, I wish I knew where that cd was.

My list of thanks for this coming weekend:

* Gran is home from rehab and is getting along fantastically. She LOVES her new floor and frig and was just excited to be at home.
* Since our schedule is finally returning back to normal, B and I can enjoy a Wednesday night chruch service on being thankful.
* We only have two dinners to attend this weekend as opposed to the usual 5 or 6.
* My step-mom had kidney stone surgery yesterday and is feeling fine.
* For the most part, everyone in the family is healthy and happy.
* This is our last month on Clomid ~ 'nuff said.
* Early bird shopping on Friday with my sister and sis-in-law.
* My husband is having his 30th birthday on Friday!!! Happy Birthday B!
* We're coming home on Friday night and relaxing for TWO WHOLE DAYS!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Blog family. I am thankful for the friendships God has given us through technology. Everyone be safe on your travels and enjoy this time to be with friends, family and God.

Tidings of Joy... and "tuurrkeeyy" (in your Best Adam Sandler immitation)!

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Was John Lennon really the greatest rock and roller of all time? On our drive back from the Big Easy today, I heard that he was. In this song to his son Sean (which Celine Dion has done a beautiful cover of, funny faces, accent and all), he makes such a profound statement about life. Are we really so busy doing everything that we let it slip silently away? Ok, deep thought section over.

Mae is back to her old self. Thank you all for the comments, prayers, and e-mails last week. (I honestly don't think I have ever been so ready for a week to come to its end, praise God for passing time!) Brandon and I just got back from New Orleans, where we were visiting w/ my FU roomie and her family ~ Netta, Jared and Kaleb (along w/ her crazy dad, mom, brother, mawmaw, and pops). It was so wonderful and relaxing.

The reason for the trip was a Jewelry Shoe at the Convention Center ~ complete bliss!!! I racked up on some sweet Christmas gifts and also some fantastic rewards for myself (Louis Vuitton and Coach handbags and wallet, yummy! Knock offs, but the ole wallet isnt' bare after those purchases! We are SOO making this a tradition ~ the guys played golf, we shopped, ate fantastic Cajun seafood, got lost in the ghetto, saw some homeless people, drove by the levee (btw, it wasn't dry), saw the movie Elf ~ too funny!, and had lots of good old friend time. Just what I needed!

Gran's house is still a work in progress. They had a heck of a time getting the linoleum up, apparently my uncle put it down w/ tar. Part of the sub-flooring had also been eaten away by termites, they were still working on putting down the hardwood floors at 7:00. The new GE frig from Sears (and now K-Mart?) is being delivered at 11:00 tomorrow morning, so I hope the floor is finished by then. Gran will be released some time early this week. I hope and pray that it isn't until Tuesday or Wednesday, still lots to chuck and burn and we just won't be able to if she's there. God has answered so many prayers in this area already ~ it's all going to be fine, it's just a bit more than we had anticipated.

I have all week off from school ~ definitely something to be thankful for! Just one little paper to turn in, a project on how to give workshops (any info would be GREATLY appreciated) and a take home final and my days at FHU will come to an end. And it's all going to be fine ~ I'm glad B and I were able to make the decision, it still aches a bit, but I have so much less stress it's just plumb amazing! My new semester at Southern Christian starts January 10 ~ it'll be here b4 I know it!

I'll get to see my sweet babies this week (Halle wanted to talk to her "Meme" early on Thursday morning, but that mean old mommy thought it was too early ~ hello ~ is it EVER too early to hear a precious niece blabber into the phone?!!! I think NOT!), go early bird shopping w/ my sisters on Friday, celebrate my husband being on earth for three decades, and look towards heading into the late 20's (my 26th) just a few days later (Dec. 1). After that, I have two nieces who will turn 2 and 5, a step mother who will turn 40, Christmas, New Years and goodness knows what else! So many blessing, so much to be thankful for. Praise God for seeing the mountain's top after an exhausting treck through the valley!

Tidings of Joy... and seeing people shop and drink hard liquor at the same time ~ only in New Orleans!!!! :)

P.S. Massive awakening this weekend. I really thought that my southern accent had slipped to a non-accent, but after being submerged into crazy Cajun land, it made a surprising come back ~ southern roots to the end!

It's the End of the World as I Know it & I Feel... Exhausted

So many times in my life (and in yours too?) I find that things are going along at a speed and level that I find comforting and then BAM (do the Emeril thing) it all changes.

I'll start with school. Last week in my Psycho class we had the option of looking at our test results. Dr. Morris kind of had a mini break down / cry session in class b/c basically our grades as a whole didn't improve over last time and she was upset over how we were learning and studying the information. I put in hours upon hours of studying for that test (literally 15 - 20 hours), and still ended up making a 69. I have been so frustrated since then because I know the information that she has taught us! I can tell the difference b/t an anxiety disorder and mood disorder, if I were to see someone with schizophrenia I would be able to diagnose it. For my grades not to reflect what I know, and even worse to be failing the class has been really upsetting. I've cried every day over the fact that I am failing a course. That has never happened to me before and I am having a lot of trouble dealing with it. With everything else that is going on right now, though school is not that important. In the whole scheme of things, it isn't going to make a difference whether I take this class once or twice to pass it. I sat down with the head of the department last night and we talked for a good while about everything. He has no problem with me dropping the class, and apparently there are several others who are in the same boat. He was very frustrated over the complaints he's gotten about her and said that obviously things were going to have to change. "Graduate school isn't the place to make a student's life horrible, if you're going to challenge them to the extreme, do it in undergrad." Thank you Dr. Cravens!

In one of my cry fests, Brandon was at home. I usually try to hide petty little things like this from him b/c it makes me feel weak and idiotic to get so stressed out over something so miniscule. He is so wonderful. He obviously knew that I was stressing, but thought it had more to do with Granny than school (which in a way is true, but yesterday it wasn't about her). He just held me in his arms and let me cry and talk and wipe my face on his shirt. He did the thing he always does, he loved on me and made me feel better. We came to a decision about school, a very long, thought out, prayed over decision. I'm not returning to Freed next semester (it hurts to read that). I feel guilty about it costing so much to drive back and forth and have dinner there and just for being gone so much when I could be at home with my husband and be happy with what I can accomplish with the degree that I have. It's almost as if I feel like I'm asking God for too much. I feel guilty and selfish and I just want those feelings to go away. The hours in the car take a toll on me, by the time I get home from class, I've put in an entire work day sitting and driving. I want to find a job and have a feeling of accomplishment towards our financial future, right no it just feels like I'm depleting it.

I did find a program through Southern Christian University out of Montgomery, AL. It's online and is a Marriage and Family Therapy program, fully accredited and in line with Tennessee's licensure requirements. I can do everything from the comfort of my own home and still get a good education (even Dr. Cravens agreed with me on that). Of course, it costs quite a bit more than Freed, but the tuition can still be covered by loans that I'm getting now and living off of. This will allow me to get a job and not have to worry about leaving early to make it to class. I have access to classes 24/7. It will add a semester to what I had to have at FHU, but we'll make it work out.

In Grandmother land things are working out as well. We all have spent numerous hours cleaning out her house. I have cried over that too. It was very sad to do (and we're still not finished) and I felt guilty that we had let her house get in the condition that it is in. It's looking good, but we've still got quite a bit of work to do. The PT's and OT's at the rehab unit keep telling her she won't be in there for very long and may not even need a home health nurse when she gets out. I just keep praying that she'll be there long enough for us to get things done. I told her that we are all doing it out of love and trying to put ourselves in her place. I would have a hissy fit if I were hospitalized and someone came in and threw away my things and rearranged my home. I understand that she'll be upset, but she really couldn't continue to live the way she was. It just hurts to have to do such things, I can't and don't want to imagine how it will be when she passes away.

On to things in fertility world. Still no luck. The deadline that B and I originally set to start the adoption process is quickly approaching (January). So many other things have been going on that this has taken a back burner to even school. I'm almost ready to give up and concentrate on other things. It just kind of comes in waves. I don't know, we'll see how it goes.

That's my life right now ~ full of changes, cleaning, failing, going different directions, and making more decisions that I signed up for when I entered this thing we call "adulthood." I did have another interview today (I'm getting really good at telling people what they want to hear!). It was for a math teaching position at a special school for mentally retarded children (ages 7 to 22). I'll hear by the end of the week. The head master has to prove to the state that she tried to hire someone with a CDC endorsement before she can hire someone without it (like me). I'm not keeping my fingers crossed about this on, but it's worth a try.

I'm stopping now, this is way too long, I almost never read any blog over five paragraphs. Hope you stuck it out to here.

Tidings of Joy... and changes.

The Naugahyde Chair from Hadees

Time 3:15, Day: Wednesday, Occasion: Grandmother's trip down pain lane.

My house ~ Ring, ring: Hey, what's going on? (Isn't caller id grand? It's my sister.)
Lynette: (Almost crying, very stressed) I just got a call from some man who said that Granny fell and is at the ER in McMinnville with broken arm and possibly a broken back. I'm on my way to pick up Jay (our oldest brother) and we're heading over there.
Me: Ok, calm down, she'll be alright. Do you want me to go ahead and get on the road?
Lynette: No, I'll call you when we find our more. One of us (meaning me, the unemployed, childless sibling) will need to stay with her overnight.
Me: OK, I'll go ahead and pack and be ready when you call back.

Several hours and a 2 1/2 hour drive later, I am at River Park "Hospital" in a private room w/ my 81 year old grandmother. She has a cast on her left arm from above her elbow to her knuckles. Her forearm is broken (both bones) and she crushed a vertebrate in her lower back. What happened you ask? Well, she had been to town with a friend (apparently visiting 5 different grocery stores for the bet prices on food ~ uh, I guess you have to have great-grandchildren to get the why's of that one) and while she was putting her items in her car, stepped off of the garage floor wrong and fell backwards onto her back. Everything is ok, no surgery required, but it's not going to be a fun recovery process.

The "hospital" (more stories to follow, I'll just say that some people in Warren County who have taken care of my grandmother are a few fries short of a happy meal) room has a light green naugahyde recliner that reclines on it's own, must be propped up against the wall to stay up-right, and has a foot rest that comes up high enough for a bulemic snake to slither under. Mae, welcome to your bed for the next two nights. After sleeping for about a total of 7 hours in two nights, I am convinced that after death people in the hadeean realm who will spend their eternity in hell will sleep in chairs just like this. Isn't that a happy thought?

Gran's doctor told her yesterday that she could go home if she wanted, or she had the option to go to the Rehab Unit for a while. He asked if she had anyone to help her out (since she lives alone) and she told him NO! I was madder than a cat in a burlap sack! I told her doctor she most certainly did have grandchildren to watch after her, but we'd need home health to come at least every other day to help with her bath and to give us breaks. Later Granny and I were talking and after consulting with a nurse, 4 friends, and a previous patient of the Rehab unit, we decided it would be better for her to go there for a few days. Her "nurses", friends and a social worker all thought it was a wonderful idea. Plus, I was selfishly thinking it would give all of us time to clean up her house enough for her to walk around with her walker, move her washer and dryer up from the basement that resembles Hannibal Lecter's holding pen, get her tub in working order, seal the door to the basement, and get her leaky refridgerator repaired (all things that we've been trying to do for the last 7 years, but that she wouldn't allow, now is THE time!). The average stay in the Rehab unit is 10 days ~ God willing and the creek don't rise, we'll be able to get everything done.

When I got home last night I took off my shoes and noticed that my ankles were as big around as an elephants. Yep, just what I need. They've been tingling for a couple of days, but not enough to really bother me. Apparently the nauga from hadees did something to my circulation, if the tingling and pain worsen I have to go to the er... I'm thinking it can wait. There's enough going on right now. If it gets to the point that I can't walk anymore, then I'll head to the ER, until then it's lots of water, Alleve, and a propped up leg for me!

Speaking of tingling, it's up to my knees now, so I must head back to my recovery chair. I hope your week has been healthier than mine!

Tidings of Joy... and rehab! :)

Book Review

In the spirit of Matt Elliott, I thought I'd give a glimpse into the current book I am reading. It's called We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle written by Celia Rivenbark. Here is an excerpt that made me snort (I'm ok w/ who I am, snorting is part of me, take it or leave it!)...

How to be a Hands-On Parent Using Field Trips, Dead Butterflies, and Beefaroni

On day four [of her five years old's kindergarten year], I got a mean look from a skinny woman wearing a Greenpeace T-shirt and I knew she was cheesed because I was sitting in the carpool line, AC cranked up on high, reading People magazine and eating God knows how much ozone. Oh, sue me. The carpool line is the most fabulous "me time" I've had in five years. You're doing something useful and important, but you're all alone, icy air blasting, diet Coke in hand, and a terrific article about how much Brad Pitt likes mission-style furniture just waiting to be devoured. Life is good...

The truth is, I honestly like kindergarten, and not just for the Beefaroni. My favorite part? The communication via backpack thing. It's so efficient. Class pictures or T-shirts or announcements or report cards are sent home in the backpack: payment or comments or signatures are sent back the same way. Sort of like some wonderful Pony Express only with Powerpuff Girl saddlebags.

The whole thing makes me think that we should all communicate via backpack in this great nation using sweet little flower shaped notes.

Bush to Saddam: "Do you like me? Check one, yes or no."

Don't thank me now. Just send me that Korbel Peace Prize.

Signs

On the oh-so-long drive I take to and from school each week, I see some very interesting sights ~ namely church signs. Break into the Tesla song, "Signs, signs, everywhere the signs. Blockin' up the scenery, makin' my mind. Do this don't do that, can't you read the signs..."

Ok, top four:

4. Don't Wait on the Hearse to Get You to Church.

3. Dirty Bibles Lead to Dusty Lives.

2. Stop, Drop, and Roll Won't Work in Hell

1. My Last Name Isn't Damn It - God.

I kid you not. These are the words that are supposed to invite people in to learn about the LOVE of Jesus? Come on!

Tidings of Joy... and better signs that that! :)

Recent Discoveries by Mae :)

Ok, so some of you our there in blogland may already be onto these, but I tend to get VERY excited over little things so here goes!

* Coffee ~ Yes, I know, it's sad. Growing up, neither of my parents drank this caffeinated gift from God, so I never really had an interest in it. Holy crap ~ the energy I have from just one cup is down right amazing!! My mom-in-law bought me a little two cup coffee maker last weekend. I've found that I really enjoy plane jane stuff w/ two spoonfuls of sugar and enough french vanilla creamer to look like caramel ~ yummy and energy in one!!!

* Cut & Paste ~ it's sad. I have grown up the in technology age, even been forced to take computer classes since middle school and just recently really got (translate ~ light bulb moment ~ OH!) how to use this function on the computer. Since I take no responsibility for my own faults, I'll blame this one on my dear pal Kevin Farrar. We had a computer class together at FU and he'd do all my work for me, send it to my computer and I'd print it out as my own work. Yep, I was a cheater!

* Shrimp on the Bar~b ~ Brandon and I were watching an episode of Monster House the other day, they were doing an Australian Outback home and of course the family got a new grill (that's what we call 'em down here, apparently in other parts of the US and Down Under they are called Bar-B-q's (Bar~b's) ~ OH! I get it ~ shrimp on the bar-b-q a.k.a. bar-b! Brandon almost fell out when I said that out loud ~ he just called it a "Lynette moment." I guess you really have to know my sister to get that joke, but believe me, it's funny!

* The Last button on the remote ~ Yep, you can go back and forth from one channel to another without having to remember the # of either channel! Laziness at it's best!

* Lysol ready brush toilet cleaner kit ~ It's pretty neat, all there for you to clean away the funk. Also, it's fairly heavy so you be a good bicep/tricep workout too!

* Egyptian Cotton Sheets ~ This on I've known about for a while. We received a set as a wedding gift, and until we're rich, it'll be the only set we'll own. Pure, undisturbed, blissful luxury!

* Armoral Glass Wipes ~ We almost never clean the windows on our vehicles, but they're great for cleaning the mirrors in the bathroom. Quick, efficient, and streak free!

* Fresh Linen anything from Bath & Body Works ~ I discovered this in the early college years. Simply the most delicious smell for your home, car, office, living room, any room you'll ever be in. It comes in candles, room sprays, car fresheners, and wall flowers. I'd buy every bit they keep in stock if I could afford it.

That's all that's on the list for today. I must delve into some case studies for class tonight. Feel free to add to the list. Share, share alike!

Tidings of Joy... and recent discoveries! :)

He really 'nose' I love him...

Last weekend, one of our elder's wives came up to me and asked how long Brandon and I had been married. "Oh, about 3 1/2 years." to which she replied, "Really? Well the two of you could've fooled me, you act like newlyweds." Another man who had been listening in on the conversation said, "Yep, I was sure you hadn't been married for more ' n a year or so." That makes me feel good. :)

Then we get home. Standing in the bathroom, B is at his sink and I am at mine. B is trimming his nose hairs and I am plucking my eyebrows, Mrs. Becky's comment comes back to me and I laugh so hard that tears are streaming down my face! As a newlywed, I'd've never been able to partake in either de-hairing scenario w/ him by my side~ ah, a toast to love and marriage!!!

Now I must begin a paper that is due tomorrow on some disorder... Not sure which one I'm gonna enlighten my professor on. I think I'll just open the DSM to a random page and begin there.

Happy restful Sunday afternoon to all. Tidings of Joy... & the removal of facial hair w/ your spouse! :)

Prayers for all involved w/ this horrific disease.

By RON FOURNIER and RANDOLPH SCHMID
WASHINGTON (AP) - Elizabeth Edwards, wife of former Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards, was diagnosed with breast cancer the day her husband and Sen. John Kerry conceded the presidential race.

Spokesman David Ginsberg said Mrs. Edwards, 55, discovered a lump in her right breast while on a campaign trip last week. Her family doctor told her Friday that it appeared to be cancerous and advised her to see a specialist when she could.

She put off the appointment until Wednesday so as not to miss campaign time.

The Edwards family went straight to Massachusetts General Hospital from Boston's Faneuil Hall after Kerry and Edwards conceded on Wednesday.

Mrs. Edwards had a needle biopsy performed at the hospital, where Dr. Barbara Smith confirmed the cancer, Ginsberg said.

He said the cancer was diagnosed as invasive ductal cancer. That is the most common type of breast cancer, and can spread from the milk ducts to other parts of the breast or beyond.

More tests were being done to determine how far the cancer has advanced and how to treat it, he said.

Ginsberg said spirits are high at the Edwards household. ``Everybody feels good about it, that this is beatable,'' he said.

Edwards, who leaves his North Carolina Senate seat in January, said in a statement, ``Elizabeth is as strong a person as I've ever known. Together, our family will beat this.''

The American Cancer Society estimated that nearly 216,000 American women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year.

Treatments have been getting better. The current five-year survival rate for breast cancer is 87 percent, up from 78 percent in the mid-1980s. About 40,000 women die of breast cancer annually.

Overall, the society says about one in seven women will develop breast cancer in their lifetime.

Invasive ductal cancer accounts for 65 percent to 80 percent of all breast cancers, according to the Merck Manual of Medical Information.

Treatment usually begins with surgery, according to the National Cancer Institute. This could involve removal of the cancer itself and usually nearby lymph nodes. Lumpectomy, just removing the cancerous mass, is becoming more common, though sometimes removal of the whole breast is done.

Surgery can be followed by chemotherapy, radiation or hormone therapy.

Radiation can focus on a cancer site from a machine outside the body or use a radioactive substance placed near the cancer in ``seeds'' or via needle.

Chemotherapy uses drugs that can stop or slow the growth of cancer that may have spread.

Hormone therapy removes or blocks hormones that can encourage growth of cancer cells.

In early stages of cancer a combination of the drug tamoxifen and hormone therapy is commonly used, the Cancer Institute reports.

The Edwardses married in 1977. They have two daughters, Cate and Emma Claire and a son, Jack. Son Wade died in a 1996 traffic accident.

Mrs. Edwards, born in Jacksonville, Fla., grew up hopscotching between the United States and Japan. She met her future husband at University of North Carolina law school.

She juggled a successful legal career and family for 19 years. Then - stunned by Wade's death - she quit work to have more children at an age when many contemporaries were easing toward grandmotherhood.

On the campaign, she dubbed herself the ``anti-Barbie,'' a quick-witted, down-to-earth political wife who connected particularly well with mothers and fathers.

The Amish sleep in the nude and other things I've learned at church...

I have indeed been learning interesting things from the ladies at our Ladies Bible Class. As mentioned before, I am the youngest LBCer by about 40 years. Usually after the class is over a group will go to luch at Dutch Country and then go visiting the shut-ins, shopping, or just galavant around the Ethridge community (It has a general store, some Amish shops and a bus stop ~ so galavanting doesn't really take that long!)! Today some of the girls decided that they wanted to visit an Amish lady who sells herbal supplements in order to get healthy. (The health kick usually lasts at least two days before it is decidedly unrealistic or causes problems with the other medications that these ladies take.) Today the goal was for a "system clean out," so we went to the place and got the stuff, got to go in two Amish homes (one of which was preparing for a wedding and serving all 160+ guests two full course meals). The largest difference in the Amish homes and my own little place is the absence of bathrooms, color and decorations, and the presence of barefooted and pregnant young women, pumps for water, chickens roaming in the yards, lawn mowers like the Bradys' used, iron stoves like you would see on an episode of Little House on the Prairie, lots of beds, and very long tables to seat large families (like on the Waltons). It was interesting and incredibly informative! I'd've taken pictures, but our digital camera is in China on loan to one of Brandon's friends, and they won't let their pictures be taken ~ can't remember the reason.

The Amish also sleep in the nude. I know this b/c we have a blood drive at church every other month (which I keep meaning to participate in, but always forget about) and of course, with every pint of blood you give, your reward is some juice, a cookie, and a t-shirt. Well, the Amish are big contributers, but they won't take the t shirt (b/c of their lack of color and all that jazz). When one of the ladies said, "Here, take it, you can sleep in it or something." One of the men (named Corneilous, Neil for short) said, "Umm, well miss, if we slept in clothing, I'm sure it would come in handy." Just imagine the buzz that got going in the little circle! Ahh, priceless!!!

I'm glad this election stuff is over with. Anon person from Monday, glad you're enthusiastic about the fact, but there is a difference in having an opinion and forcing it on others. Steph, thank you for taking the big sister role in things, and Brew, welcome to the blog family. Brew is an ol' pal from the Faulkner U days who is currently living in France with his wife Amy. Check out his space in blogland.

I got over the Psycho test on Tuesday night ~ whew! It paid off to have studied so intently for a week and a half. There were a few multiple choice questions that I was on the fence about the answer, but I definitely exhausted every aspect in the essays. I know I didn't fail, hoping for an A, expecting a B, and will even be content w/ a C (depending on how strict she is w/ the essay part). I do know that I passed it though! Now I have to focus on studying for a final on Saturday morning (we get to make out the test in this class, it's just a matter of finding the answers and committing them to memory) and write a ten page paper on a disorder for Monday. The paper is only worth 25 points, so I'm not going to worry too much about it.

In the career area, things aren't looking so well. I got a call Monday saying that the board who decides who can and can not be hired (bascially, the people who pay TennCares bills) declined all four people on the basis of lack of experience (yep, makes sense, all I have is the educational aspect). Then I got another call today saying that that decision was being appealed and that I may have a chance. I did find a part time discharge/social work postion at Maury Regional (pronounced Murry Reejnul), it's only two days per week which sounds much more appealing to my lazy bum!

Lots going on here ~ my life almost sounds exciting on paper, the reality seems so much the opposite!

Tidings of Joy... and naked (pronounced nekkid) snoozing Amish! :)

Hmm, really?!

Are you interested in watching the national election results with your friends next Tuesday night? If you are, come to the Student Center from 7:00 p.m. until curfew. Food will be provided. Come out and show your support for your country. Everyone on campus is invited!

We hope you will participate!
~College Republicans

I received the above e-mail at my FHU account this morning. Funny that there isn't a College Democrats Club to offer the same t hing...

In other news...

* Both the UT Vols and the TN Titans won in fantastic, incredibly exciting games this weekend. Woo~hoo!! :)

Happy Monday to all and to all a happy day beofore this election stuff is over (hopefully)!

While I study, I am listening to Radio Margartiaville and eating Smarties in hopes of allowing more information to seep in. Think that'll help?