Do you ever look at situations and ask yourself, "Is this a gift from God, or is He just bored with my current life and in need of some real entertainment?" No, I didn't think so.
With the closing of Murray getting closer and our move from our little home even closer still, Brandon and I have been tossing around several different living scenarios...
Our favorite is striking it rich, buying a home in Coffee County and flying our private plane to exotic destinations along w/ any friends and family who wish to join in. Since we've never played any type of "strike it rich" game, that one seems to be a bit out of reach...
Next is finding a job that allows us to live happily ever after (again in Coffee County). Only, the more realistic version includes me having a "real job" and HAH and any subsequent children being watched by someone while B and I bring home the cabbage. While we both know that having excessive amounts of $$$ isn't everything, we also know that it sure does seem to make some things easier. I've been thinking about what my dream has always been (staying at home w/ the babies, being an SUV driving soccer mom, having lunch and play dates w/ all the other mom's in the neighborhood, etc.) and what reality seems to be handing us. Working (more than likely as a teacher ~ the more you know, right? ~ until I finish my master's anyway) and having what can be the best of both worlds. We want to provide our children with whatever they want, but more importantly to be available, nurturing, supportive, loving, and set the best examples possible for their lives. How do you decide what is best for your children when you have no idea what being a parent is like?
It's not a stressful decision. Obviously if there is anyway that we can be geographically close to our families that is the path we will head down. Neither of us are worried about the future. God always provides. He always has, and He always will. It's just that there is so much more to consider with a child coming into the world. How do you know what to do when you don't even know what to expect next week?
Just some ideas and details that are swimming around in my head. Apparently, I don't have enough going on in my life already. Any insight on this whole "parenting" thing would be greatly appreciated.
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6 comments:
I enjoy staying at home with my children, but if it makes you feel better, try to avoid dreaming about the SUV driving, play date making, soccer game watching world. It isn't the perfect life by any means.
My mother worked when I was a baby and went back to work when I was in 7th grade and my sister was in kindergarten. She, being the amazing woman that she is, was able to put 100% into her work and 100% into her family. I am sure it wore her out, but we never felt deprived.
I am sure that whatever decision you make, you will do what is in the best interest of your family. You know best so don't let anyone tell you what is best for you.
That is a hard one to be sure! Rob and I made the decision that I would stay home with our kids, knowing we would have to give up "newer and bigger" for "older and cheaper". I just didn't want to have regrets someday about letting someone else be the primary care giver to my kids, because really, there are only so many hours in the day. I don't know how working Moms do it...but I have noticed that their houses stay cleaner! :)
Staying home as it turns out is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I love it, but I had no idea how hard it would be to be a Mom 24/7. Still, I wouldn't trade the five and a half years at home I had with Kolby before she went to school, or my time now with Rhett. This time goes by so quickly. I can work for the rest of my life if need be, but my babies were only babies once and I was there for it all.
Having said that, I feel God would have blessed us what ever decision we made. He will bless you and Brandon in your decision to!
So when is the next sonogram?
Thanks girls. I guess we really won't know until we absolutely have to make the decision.
The next sonogram will be Sat. the 30th. My niece, Shelby, has an aunt who does them for a living. She volunteered to "show me the good stuff." I've been instructed to drink a Sun-drop right before to get HAH to move around for us. Hopefully it will work this time! If not, we have to wait until weeks 30 - 32 for my doc's office to do antoher one. She's not going to mutate into some alien like life form from all of these, is she??!!
No, no, the more sonograms, the better. I love how you persist at calling the baby "she". You know, I never thought I'd work while kids were little. But here I am, working at least a few hours almost every day. I'm glad I get to do it at home, but sometimes I think my kids would have more fun with someone else. I don't know. I think teaching is a great mommy schedule if you have to work away from home. You get summers off, and you're out earlier in the afternoons.
And I don't drive an SUV. Just a van. And none of my kids play soccer. Yet. And you don't even need a van until you have 3 kids and the carseats get too crammed. Going with older and cheaper is good ... generally our route. Rob drives a 15-year-old car.
Goign to take a nap now until pick-up time. This schedule is hard. "The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be..."
I can't imagine working outside the home with little ones. Maybe if all my kids were in school I could think about doing something while they were at school, but then there is the "what if they're sick?" thing to deal with.
Here in this new apartment we're living in for the next 6 weeks, we have a couple downstairs with a 2 and 3 year old. The kids are in bed by 7 every night and get up early in the morning to go to a sitter (both parents work... they were leaving for work when my husband left this morning shortly before 6:30). They weren't home until 4 or so. That gives them *3* hours with their kids. UGH. I just can't imagine it.
Not trying to be negative, just presenting some real-life kind of things to think about.
We worked opposing schedules until Gabe was 6 months old. At that point I had to go back to work. I had a job offer but was ready to turn it down if we didn't find the "right" place for my boys. I know that your dream is staying home with your children. I hope that can happen for you. I can tell you that if it doesn't you can still have a wondererful experience raising your children. Their are trade offs both ways. I won't tell you what is right or wrong because there is no right or wrong. I won't tell you one is better than the other because raising kids is HARD whether you work or not. I will only offer you this one bit of advice. IF you find yourself checking into child care for HAH, pray about it and FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCT. If something doesn't feel right, even though everything looks and sounds perfect, trust that feeling. I can't say why we chose The Learning Tree for the boys except that is just felt so right. And it was.
Oh, ok... one more tip. No matter what decision you and Brandon make, do not let ANYONE make you feel like a poor parent or less than a parent for making that choice. Because they would be WRONG!!
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